Adoption Survivor

dealing with it

What is wrong with adoption because you want a family?

with 2 comments

Open Question

Ok I get the hole not telling the adopted child they are adopted, I am in favor of not amending OBC (Original birth certificate0, and just getting an adoption certificate, I am have even changed my opinion on closed adoptions, in fav of enforcing open adoption. However i don’t get why so many of you say it is selfish to adopt. People don’t give birth thinking about the kids needs. They have kids because they want kids. Some people can’t so they adopt. .

Answer

“People don’t give birth thinking about the kids needs.”
I’d beg to differ with you here. By nine months gestation, a mother is thinking a lot about the kids’ needs.

“They have kids because they want kids.”
I’d beg to differ again. Many kids are accidents. By nine months gestation, they are wanted. It is outside forces and circumstances which can sometimes make this want a conflict.

“Some people can’t so they adopt.”
Agreed.

I don’t understand why everyone can’t admit that wanting children is selfish? What’s wrong with that? Nothing, in my book.

What’s wrong is when that selfish want GROWS so large it is to the exclusion of reason. When the ripples it causes that effect others and even the child are of no consequence. When self-reflection and honesty to the child are abandoned to justify this lack of responsibility. When social and personal ethics are set aside for the ultimate goal.

Being selfish is okay. Being selfish without regard to others is not okay. Being selfish and calling it a selfless act is repugnant. The inability to recognize the difference indicates a level of maturity most parents should be above.

So it’s not being selfish which is the indictment. The indictment is for predatory practices, blind ambitions, narcissistic tendencies, and anything that is BEYOND responsible selfishness.

Children deserve not only basics and opportunities and love, but they also deserve to be considered and cared for by balanced, mature, emotionally responsible people.

btw, thank you for taking the time to recognize the child’s civil rights. good job, indeed!

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Written by girl4708

January 16, 2009 at 1:51 am

Posted in Q&A

2 Responses

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  1. Bravo for the answer.
    I wonder how is that your answer is not chosen to be the best. The one that has been chosen is far from being the best

    kimette

    January 16, 2009 at 6:09 pm

  2. Just because a baby is carried to full term doesn’t mean it’s wanted. Abortion may be illegal, the pregnancy could have been odd enough such that pregnancy wasn’t realised til abortion was too late (some women have their period throughout their pregnancy), parents may have pressured a child into not having an abortion, etc. Or, ya know, the birth mother could just plain not believe abortion is an OK thing and so carried the baby to full term, delivered, and now wants to get rid of it because they didn’t want it to begin with but didn’t want to murder.

    Mackenzie

    March 4, 2010 at 5:55 am


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